Band-Aids Don't Fix Bullet Holes
by alizabethianrose
Summary: Punk's past has come back to haunt him. Secrets are being exposed and the damage the lies could cause make those around him run for cover. Can he survive and who does he want at his side when the aftershocks end. Slash (Punk/Colt) (Punk/Raven)
1. Chapter 1

**Typical disclaimers, I own no one they own themselves. This is slash if you don't like don't read. This idea has been floating around in my head for a while. Since I've been experiencing huge writers block I decided to finally get this out and see where it goes. Hope you like it and if you do please review.**

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I take a deep breath at the knock on my cheap hotel room door. I glance around making sure it's at least presentable. Condoms and lube on the night stand check, bed neat check, and a glance in the mirror tells me I am looking okay. I lick my lips slowly and prepare for a few hours of my life to tick by slowly. The agency called and let me know a client would be showing up, I hated this calls just a reminder of how far my life had fallen in a few shorts years. At nineteen the last thing I should be doing is being an escort, well really that's the nice way of saying I sell my body. I remind myself this is just temporary, my day jobs covers my living expenses just barely. This is for something more, for chasing my dream, wrestling school isn't cheap and I need to go to the domain, I need training if I am ever going to be a star. I've been on my own long enough to know nothing comes free or easy, this is just a sacrifice I have to make until I start doing gigs that actually pay well. I shake myself from my thoughts and pull open the door, the man walks in and I take in the dreads and the nice ass. Thinking maybe this won't be so bad, when he turns to face me my stomach falls. He may not know me but I know who this man is, I glance down and check for a kilt but see he is wearing actual jeans.

I feel his eyes scanning me, checking over my body and I want him to stop looking. Raven is the last man I wanted to show up here, reeking of booze, a smirk on his face as he tosses me some money. "You eighteen kid?"

"Nineteen, want to see my ID?" He laughs and lays back on the bed. I tell myself this is okay, if I ever become big he won't remember me, it's not like I will ever have to work with him. He opens up his jeans and gives me a smoldering look.

"Get to work kid I don't have all night. I'm sure you can put that cute little mouth to use." A few hours later he leaves and I find myself in the shower sticky with his cum and my own. I usually don't bother to enjoy it but with Raven it was different, less work and more fun. I can still feel his lips on my skin, as he slammed into my body, still feel him touching me, stroking me to orgasm. I shake my head and wonder if he'll ever use me again, almost hoping he'd be a repeat costumer.

The Domain changed my life, not long after starting there I met Colt Cabana, he became my best friend and very slowly my boyfriend. Not long after starting there I moved in with Ace and quit the not so standup night job. It took a while but I ended up making some real money and now I am in ROH working with people I could never imagine. I've never told anyone about that part of my life, or the few nights I spent with Raven. Hell I never plan on telling Colt that I was once a prostitute really what good would come from that. Our relationship is good, but we've never confessed our undying love. It's comfortable and I'm sure it would change drastically if he knew the truth. Hell I'm sure everything would change if my friends and family found out.

Colt is making some lame joke to Ace his fingers running gently along my back when I feel my world freeze. I watch as the last man I wanted to see here makes his way to Gabe's office. "Punk…Punk….PUNKERS" I look to Colt and force a smile. "Are you okay?" I nod and take a deep breath.

"Was that Raven?" I nod towards Gabe's office and here ace chuckle.

"Yup, he just signed a deal. Thought you would have heard about it. He's here to meet the guys and figure out who he wants to work with." I nod and stand from the bench I had been sitting on. "You sure you're okay Punk?"

"Just need to use the bathroom Ace" I walk off trying not to run and hide, maybe he won't recognize me, I look different now. I splash cold water onto my face and try to get a grip on my spiraling emotions. When I finished with the agency he was the only regret I had, Raven had taken up to seeing me at least once a week the sex had turned more into friendship and late night chats. I wonder if under different circumstances if things would be different, I shake my head forcing those thoughts away. Colt is where my heart lies now, I can fully admit that we are good together and good for each other. The door to the bathroom opens and I glance over. I force myself not to react as Raven enters the room, he closes the door behind him leaning against it casually.

"Hey kid, names Raven." I know immediately he knows who I am. I do a quick check on the bathroom ensuring we are alone.

"Name's Punk, and I'm not a kid." A slow smirk slides onto Raven's face.

"No not anymore right Phil, I can still call you that, I mean with our past and the fact that I called you that for months seems odd not too." I lean against the sink, squeezing my eyes shut. The headache that is slowly forming behind my eyes causing me to see white spots.

"Whatever you want Scott, how you been?" I hear the click on the lock and the sound of his feet as he approaches me.

"Good, and you?" I would roll my eyes if they were open.

"Fucking fine, what the hell do you want Raven?" I can sense him standing in front of me so his fingers running across my cheek doesn't startle me. I pull back and spit out "don't fucking touch me I am not that person any longer." He chuckles and I open my eyes slightly.

"Alright, are you okay?" I bite at my lip not wanting to tell him anything.

"I'll be fine since the skull fracture I get migraines, it will pass. Though if I happen to pass out could you get Colt for me?" He steps a little closer but this time his hand grabs my elbow and I realize he is bracing me in case I do go down.

"Colt ho? The kid you were sitting with, who was marking his territory?" I sigh as the world spins behind my lids.

"Yes he was sitting with me, he's my boyfriend. Wasn't marking his territory." The hand on my elbow tightens slightly.

"Does he know about your colorful past?" I want to push his hand away but may actually need him to keep me steady, my breathing increases and I think I may be having a panic attack.

"Nobody knows, what the hell do you want Raven?"

"Calm down kid, I came in here to use the head. Though we do need to get together and discuss our story line. We are going to work together, should be a fun rivalry. Our past could make a good story line." My eyes pop open and I stare at him hoping he is joking.

"Are you fucking crazy?"

"From what I've been told yes, Relax kid really you look like you're going to topple over, I'm joking with you. Figured the whole straight edge work you've got going on would be a great feud. I'm not going to tell anyone your little secret." I glare for a moment before shutting my eyes.

"It's not a work, I'm straight edge." His chuckle fills my ears and he presses against me.

"Really so being a pro is acceptable in straight edge thought one night stands were out."

"We all make mistakes" I hiss and try to push him away. He steps back his hand still holding me up.

"So I'm a mistake interesting." I rub at my forehead with my free arm.

"I know shit about you that you wouldn't want shared either. Just keep your mouth shut Raven." I hear him chuckle and hate that his closeness is getting to me.

"Oh yes my sins confessed while I was fucking you through some cheap mattress. Don't worry Phil the past stays between us. Wonder if your ass is still tight, does your boyfriend appreciate it the way I did." I sigh and take a deep breath.

"Not playing your fucking mind games Raven, can you just do me a favor and go get Ace, or Colt." His hand disappears and I wonder if he actually is doing as I request I lower myself to the floor slowly hoping this migraine leaves as quickly as it hit me. I hear his retreating steps and the door open. A few minutes later I feel the comforting touch of Ace on my arm.

"Does this happen often?" Raven's voice fills my ears and I want to tell him to leave me the fuck alone.

"Not really only when he is under emotional distress. Did something happen?"

"Not that I am aware of I found him like this, came in here to piss. Nice to meet you both but I have other shit to do. Kid call me when you're feeling better we can get some dinner and discuss our story line. Gabe has my number." With that I hear the retreating feet and return my focus to Ace.

"Take me back to the hotel please." His hands guide me to my feet and out of the building. I hear footsteps join us and know Colt is there. I sleep away the rest of the afternoon waking at the sound of my cell phone going off. I check the text and look at the strange number knowing instantly it's from Raven. _I don't kiss and tell kid, but secrets can keep us trapped and have a way of coming out even when we don't want them too. Let's go out tomorrow night, I think a date will be good for you. We both know you missed me._ I save his number but quickly delete the text. Snuggling into Colt's arms I shake my head and wonder if the man actually expects an answer. He knows I'm with Colt so why would he ask me out, and why does part of me want to see what the hell his game is.


	2. Chapter 2

I lie awake all night long thinking back on my past, on the lies I've told, the stories I've created to protect myself. I tell myself repeatedly who I was doesn't matter, it's who I am now that does. Yet the truth stares me in the face mocking me a voice in my head tells me that if I confess, if Raven exposes me everything would change and not for the better.

I watch Colt sleep and wonder if he would accept what I've done, who I've been. Everything I stand for is in conflict with the man I once was, the child really who was doing anything to survive. Would he understand, would he accept that shaped me into the man I am today? I have been haunted by the ghost of my own reflection for so long that I've convinced myself that we would and could survive anything. Yet here is the bitter truth we have never said we love each other, we have never really explored what our relationship consists of besides great sex and a strong friendship. Hell technically we've never even told the other that they couldn't date other people. Not that either one of us have it's just never been said. I wonder sometimes if this isn't for convenience, if when the right person comes along we will walk away. The idea of Colt pains me yet the unspoken words between us scream volumes to what this really is.

By the time dawn is breaking I've come to the conclusion that I need to tell Colt, maybe not the whole truth but that I knew Raven before intimately. It's a Band-Aid but maybe then when he learns the truth it won't be so explosive. I go out for a run while Colt sleeps, by the time I return my body covered in sweat Colt is in the shower. I pace the room noticing the cheap carpet, the stains on the floor reminding me of many nights spent in another room with nameless men, until one man decided to change everything. HE came into my world and took notice of me, hell he spent time to get to know me despite coming off as an arrogant ass. The gentles I could find in his hands, the conversations the knowledge that somehow I was not alone in this fucked up world. Raven taught me more about myself then I care to admit yet I also know the man is never without an endgame and I really don't feel like being caught in his madness.

When Colt emerges from the bathroom my resolve in the dark of the room disappears. I can feel his eyes on me, hell I know he is studying me deciding on what mood I'm in. I'm used to these looks from everyone except Colt he usually reads me so well. "When you want to tell me what you are struggling with I'm here." I can't help the smile that spreads over my face, okay so maybe he reads me easily.

"Later, maybe later I'm in my own head. Just dealing with all this fucking bullshit of my own thoughts." He gives me a nod and I watch as he dresses my eyes seeking some clue on how he really feels towards me.

"Gotta hit the gym Punk, you want to come?" I shake my head declining his invitation.

"Nah going to hit the shower, then grab some breakfast. I'll see you later?" He walks over and kisses my cheek.

"Yup any plans for the day?" I nod and swallow slowly.

"Meeting up with the bird to talk storyline, probably for dinner." He chuckles and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Stop worrying Punk, you two will have great chemistry." After he leaves those words stick with me, if only Colt knew how true his statement is. I text Raven and let him know we can get some dinner, but it most definitely is not a date. I head into the shower and then head over to the cheap dinner beside this shitty hotel. I have enough money now that I could afford better accommodations and meals but part of me is always focusing on the future and saving my money, plus my friends can't exactly afford the luxuries I have. I'm sitting in the corner avoiding the world when Raven responds. _Tell yourself whatever you want kid, I'll pick you up at seven._ He doesn't ask where I'm staying and this doesn't surprise me. My appearance standing in that bathroom seemed expected by him, hell I have a feeling he's been watching me for a while and sure this should bother me yet instead I feel a strange warmth.

I am about to respond to Raven when someone slides into the booth across from me, I look up and give Joe a small smile. Then I go back to frowning at my cell phone. Suddenly he takes my mouth and I look up at him, he places it on the table and stares at me. "What's going on?" I bite at my lip unsure of how to answer him.

'A lot Joe, not in the mood to discuss it." He sighs and flags down the waitress ordering some breakfast then sitting back in the booth.

"You know you can trust me with anything?" I nod of course I do this man is one of my best friends. "You've been off since the bathroom last night, since meeting Raven. So what is it about the man?" I bite my lip trying to decide what to do, part of me feels like if I just tell someone the truth then it will be easier to tell Colt.

"It's not the first time I met Raven, I once upon a time knew him as Scott." Joe raises and eyebrow and I feel once again as if I'm being studied.

"Spill this I'm sure would be an interesting story." I shrug and play with the corner of my napkin, tearing tiny pieces off.

"It was before I met any of you, when I was on my own. We had a relationship well if you could call it that."

"How old were you?"

"Eighteen, nineteen, immature, stupid and trying to survive on my own. He was umm…well…important to me." Joe doesn't say a word he waits for me to continue on so I take a deep breath. "There is a part of my past that I regret it was a low point, a very dark point in my past and he gave me some light."

"Raven providing light in the darkness I always imagined him more as the darkness itself." I nod in agreement in truth Raven probably provides that for most people.

"I know he is not sunshine and roses it's just the kind of saved me from myself for a while." Joe waits as the waitress places our food on to the table and then I feel again as if I am being analyzed.

"Raven has a reputation, one in which he doesn't date, hell he doesn't do relationships. From what I hear its one night stands and money exchanging hands." I know I tense I can feel it through my whole body, though a thought does cross my mind if Raven doesn't date then why did he ask me out.

"We've all done things we wish we hadn't Joe, some more than others. Some of those things affect who we are and could ruin someone's life. I never expected to run into him again, I thought he was going to stay in my past. He knows stuff he shouldn't and I feel like I need to get them out before he pulls my skeletons out of my closet. I just don't know how without losing someone who means a lot to me." Joe sighs and takes a few bites of his breakfast.

"Colt loves you I hope you now that." I shake my head I am not sure of that. "He does you can tell by the way he looks at you, hell by the way he puts up with your bullshit. You are not the easy guy in the world to love. I'm pretty sure he would tell you this himself if he wasn't afraid you would run away. You don't exactly put out the warm open vibe Punk." I agree with him, I do I know that I put up walls between Colt and myself but it's really just to protect myself everyone leaves me in the end. "Does Colt know of your past?"

"No it's not something I've told anyone. Raven plays games though and I'm scared that despite his reassurance he won't tell anyone about our history I think if he saw an advantage he'd use it." Joe finishes his breakfast in silence I can tell he is thinking, possibly putting puzzle pieces together. Pieces I would rather didn't make a complete puzzle.

"Talk to Colt would be my best advice, be honest then Raven has nothing on you. Also I would stay away from Raven except in a work capacity, he does like to manipulate people and pull them down to his level. Have you been tested Punk? You know STD's and shit? If you're intimate with Colt and not tested that is so not okay." I think Joe has put too much together, figured out way too much.

"I'm clean, I would never do that to Colt. I plan on staying away from Raven, I would never ever hurt Colt like that. I…I care about Colt too much."

"Good then be honest with him about Raven, about your past, about how you feel about him. But please don't say I care about you to Colt cause that is just slamming another door in his face. It may take time for him to process everything, but he will trust me he is never going to walk away from you." I wish I could believe that and maybe what is missing in that belief is the words we haven't said. "Let's go have some fun." I chuckle and grab my phone hesitating before opening up a text to Colt. _I love you, we need to have a conversation._ Okay so maybe saying it first in text is not the best way to do this but it feels safer. This way if he doesn't respond I can just pretend it got lost and he never received it. Face to face means he has to respond and that would be like facing a firing squad, waiting for a bullet of rejection. In my experience you can't put a band aid over a bullet hole.

"It's a little early for your kind of fun isn't it Joe." My finger hovers over the send button unsure. Joe reaches over and presses it before I can react.

"I know other ways of having fun Punk. Let's go I think I know something that will be fun and cheer you up." I follow him from the diner and we walk up the street, my hand clutching the phone waiting for what could be nothing or everything. Joe stops and pulls open a door and I walk in without paying attention. I can feel my eyes light up as I take in the rows of comic books, Joe may have actually nailed this one. I find myself lost in the rows trying to decide what I should purchase I notice Joe is on his phone and wonder who he is talking too. I'm about to go over and ask him when my phone vibrates in my hand, I swear I literally jump and almost throw the thing like it bit me, hell I forgot I'd been hanging onto it so tightly. I see Colt's name flash on the screen and for a moment I want to ignore it.

"Hi Colt."

"Hey Punkers" I smile at the nickname in some way when he calls me that it makes me feel like I'm the only person in his world that matters. "I would have responded to you sooner but I was working on. Joe called Ace and told him to tell me to check my phone. So I did and I love you too. What do you want to talk to me about?" I know the smile on my face is huge and I feel a small weight lifted off my shoulders.

"Just wanted to talk to you about some stuff. Can we meet up?" My voice sounds odd tome own ears, happy it sounds deliriously happy.

"Sure we could grab some dinner tonight and you can get whatever is on your mind off of it." I bite my lip trying to decide what to do here.

"I'd like that so dinner tonight."

"Sure Punkers, wait didn't you have plans to meet up with Raven?" I did but really this is more important isn't it. If this secret isn't between Colt and I Raven can't use it against me.

"I do but I rather spend time with you. I can meet up with Raven anytime."

"Okay Punkers see you in a bit."

"Sure love you Colt." I hear the small happy sigh on his end of the phone and wonder if I'm not the only one who is relieved to finally be able to say those words.

"Love you too, bye." As soon as we hang up I text Raven and cancel. Tonight could be fresh beginning for me, yet for some reason I still feel like I'm facing the firing squad. Only Colt is holding the gun and I am waiting for the pain. Bullet holes don't fix band aids and this shot could be a kill shot.

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**Thank you everyone for reading, please remember to review I love feedback.  
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**Lamentomori- Thanks for the review girl, glad you liked the title. There is something about that phrases that really appeals to me also! **


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